The Harsh Reality of Dreams
by mrs.salvatore39
Summary: Severus has one chance to make Lily his. Will he take it or live the rest of his life knowing the regret of never trying to win the girl of his dreams. NOW COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

_a/n: I think is will be my last snape/lily story, at least for a while. Their relationship may not be strictly canon, but I still find it to be a very intriguing one. I feel the idea of 'toying' with another couple would be interesting and look forward to what my imagination will create._

_Enjoy the last of Sev and Lily for now. Happy reading!_

Seventh Year

Lily kept her head down as she walked through the crowd of Hogwarts students. She wanted to just get away, be alone with her thoughts. She and Severus may have made up, but that didn't stop her from knowing that there were other students, especially Slytherin's still thought of her as a…Mudblood. She shuddered at just the thought of the word and almost ran into a tall boy with long blonde hair. He sneered down at her and her heart sped up.

"I'm sorry." She apologized and swerved around him. Lucius was not someone she was in the mood for dealing with right now, and definitely not alone.

With a glance over her shoulder she looked for Potter or Black. Normally one of them was never far behind her, but she couldn't see either of their handsome faces in the crowd. No doubt there would be girls swooning around her, shoving each other aside to get a glance at them, perhaps the chance to talk to them and be asked to the Christmas dance that was just a few weeks away. Lily had already turned down twelve invitations from James.

He still was not getting the idea that no meant no.

"Did you hear about the Mauraders' latest prank?" a boy she didn't know, but who's robes declared him a Huffelpuff caught her attention.

"No? What did I miss?" another boy asked intrigued and Lily had to dodge a few oncoming students to keep up with them.

"Apparently they chased Snivellus Snape up a tree. Then set some kind of snake after him and he ran. I ask you, what kind of Slytherin is afraid of a snake?" the Hufflepuff boy chuckled and turned out of the hall onto the grounds.

Lily lifted her collar against the cold and kept a safe distance from them, no need to make it obvious that she was eavesdropping. "So what happened?" the other boy asked.

"Well apparently he fell out of the tree. I heard he almost broke his neck. Could be paralyzed. Alice heard that he definitely sprained his wrist."

Lily had heard how fast, and how distorted rumors could get going through a school as big as Hogwarts, but there was no doubt in her mind that the part of him falling out of the tree was true. And he was most definitely injured. Not wanting to waste anymore time listening to false accounts she turned and raced for the Hospital Wing. If Severus's condition was severe she wanted to know right away. If it was as bad as some thought, she would have to come clean about her feelings for him now, before it was too late.

By the time she reached the large double oak doors the entire student population was buzzing about James and Sirius latest conquest. She could have killed them both, and she would have gone to find them if she hadn't been so worried about Severus. With a careful knock on the closed door, she waited and held her breath. Normally the door was open, unless something was going on inside that passersby wouldn't want to see.

The door opened with a creek and Lily stepped through, her eyes darting the beds for Severus's body. He was on the right side, farthest from her with Madame Pomprey leaning over him. He was unconscious, his mouth slightly open but from what Lily could see his neck was not broken, and he was definitely alive. The head nurse looked up, a smile on her face. She knew that Lily and Severus had gone through a falling out, as most of the teachers and staff did.

"Hello Miss Evans. Have you come to visit Mr. Snape or did you need something from me?"

Lily shook her head. "I came to check on Severus. The students are saying all kinds of things and I was worried."

Madame Pomprey shook her head. "Teenagers." She turned from the bed and capped a small vial of purple liquid. "Not to worry dear, he is just fine. A few broken bones and few sprained ribs, but otherwise fine. I do believe that he is a bit shaken up after what he was put through."

"Do you know just what that was?" Lily asked, not wanting to believe anything until she heard it from Severus's mouth. "I heard one of the boys say it was a snake."

"That is what I heard as well. Mr. Snape is going to be out for a while, I gave him a sleeping draught for the pain, but when he awakens you can ask himself. You're welcome to stay." She smiled warmly and collected her instruments and a roll of gauze. "I must go fill out an incident report. Damn ministry is making me file every time a student comes in with a hang nail nowadays."

She walked off, shaking her head and muttering about paperwork. Lily looked around the room, it was completely deserted. No other students had taken it upon themselves to injure each other, so at least Severus would get some rest. She slid a chair over to his bed and sat down, looking at his face intently for the first time in a long while. They'd gone from inseparable best friends to enemies and occasional acquaintances in little under a year.

The fight had created a large void in their relationship and it had taken a lot of time for her to get over what he said, and for him to forgive himself. She reached out for his hand and stroked her thumb over his knuckles. She wished he would wake up so they could talk, but it was nice being with him and not seeing the apologies and regret in his eyes. She wondered if he really was over it yet, if he would ever just let go of the anger and trust himself with her again.

There was a long scratch over his cheek that was crusted with dried blood. There were a few cuts on his hand and his left arm was wrapped. A sheet was pulled up over his chest and she wondered if she could move it enough to look at his ribs. Madame Pomprey had probably wrapped those as well, but she felt the need to look. Gently, Lily released his hand and lifted his arm so she could peer under the sheet, her lips cracking into a small smile for a moment.

His skin was almost as white as the sheet and the bandages around his ribs. The poor boy really needed to get in the sunlight. His breathing was fairly even and she was glad that he was asleep so he could have some peace. No one could bother him or tease him while he was dreaming. Her eyes looked over his stone chest, past the bandages and to a trail of hair that she'd never really noticed before. It led down into his pants and disappeared.

She found herself wondering where it went, what it meant and then the realization dawned on her. As a blush flushed across her cheeks she lowered the sheet and tucked it around his body tighter than it was before, as if that would stop her from looking again. He turned his head to the side, facing her- his lips still slightly parted. She watched them move, along with his tongue and heard his voice faintly form her name. She grasped his hand again and squeezed.

"I'm here Sev. I'm right here."

_The lights in the Great Hall were dimmed, the tables gone and the floor waxed until it shone. The ceiling was clear black, the stars clearer than he had ever seen them. A band at the far side of the room played a melody he didn't recognize, but he danced anyway. There was no song that could make him release the beautiful girl in his arms. He glanced down and saw her smiling up at him, red hair on fire and green eyes glistening. The bodies around them seemed to disappear and he leaned down to kiss her, his breath moving the hair back from her face._

_"Lily." He whispered._

_"I'm here Sev. I'm right here." Her voice seemed far away, and not at all breathless as he imagined it would be. His eyes opened and he found his arms empty, the room completely dark._

_He turned frantically, his hands out searching for her, for anything to tell him where he was. There was nothing, just darkness and silence. He stumbled forward, finding nothing to hold him up but air. He collapsed on the cold stone floor, and then suddenly began falling, as if there hadn't been a floor there at all. He remembered a Muggle story Lily had told him about once of a girl that fell down a rabbit hole. He imagined this is what it must have felt like._

_Grasping at air he was soon met with a sickening thud, his bones grunting against the impact on the ground. At first he was afraid to move, perhaps this floor would disappear as well, but after a moment and nothing happened, he gingerly pushed himself to his feet. He reached into his robes for his wand, but found nothing. The darkness was blinding and he took a step forward. Suddenly, the room roared to life, torches on the walls lighting._

_He blinked against the change, looking for something to focus on. There, standing in front of him was Lily, but she was not alone. James arms were around her like vises, holding her tightly to him as they kissed. Severus felt sick, his stomach fell and he clenched his fists. Where was his damn wand when he needed it? He found himself unable to move, his feet glued to the ground, and all he could do was watch as Lily clung to Potter._

_Severus felt a curse growing inside him, felt his jealousy magnify and then as if by magic his wand materialized in his hand. This was getting ridiculous. Without thinking, he raised the wand and pointed at James, the curse on the tip of his tongue. The couple pulled apart, as if noticing him for the first time. James had the same smug smile as always, but the look on Lily's face was unexpected. She grinned like a satisfied cat, and then she saw the wand._

_He didn't wait for either of them to say anything, he lifted the wand and sent the curse at James, but Lily jumped in front of it and he watched the girl he loved crumple to the floor in a mess of red hair and skirts. He couldn't believe it, he'd just killed her. Lily was dead, and it was all his fault, nothing could fix this mess, and he knew that better than anyone. James disappeared in a cloud of white smoke, leaving only Lily's body._

_Severus dropped his wand and ran to her, cradling her in his arms and weeping as he'd never done before. "Lily, oh Lily I'm so sorry. Please wake up, please."_

_"I am awake Sev." He heard her voice, but the body made no sound or movement. "I'm right here. Open your eyes."_

_"What are you talking about?" he looked more intently at the body, not understanding what was going on._

_"Severus, open your eyes. Come back to me." She sounded desperate and he shook her lifeless body. "Please Sev, I'm here." As more tears fell from his eyes he closed them, not able to bare the sight of her any longer._

"Please Sev, I'm here." Lily shook his hand violently, willing him to wake up. His mumbles had become more clear.

She watched, with worry as his eyes slowly opened. They fluttered for a minute, then he looked around taking in his surroundings. His eyes settled on her and relief flushed his face. "It was just a dream." He said and sat up, a hiss slipping through his teeth when he moved.

"Shhh." She whispered and smoothed back his hair with her hand. "It's alright. I'm here. Just breath." She smiled down at him and he felt his heart slow.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, lacing her fingers between his. "How did you know I was here?" he looked around again.

"The whole school is talking about it, or rather telling their own versions of it. What did James do to you?"

"Actually, it was more Sirius than James to be honest. James kinda just stood there."

That shocked Lily, but standing by and doing nothing was almost as guilty as committing the actual crime. "What did Sirius do?"

Severus shook his head."I'd prefer not to talk about it right now if that's alright." He shifted again and winced. "What happened to me?"

"You fell out of the tree. Madame Pomprey says it's not serious. You should be healed completely by tomorrow night."

"Thank Merlin for magic." He said and sunk back into the pillows. "Will you stay with me?"

"Of course." She smiled and scooted the chair closer to the bed.

When Severus awoke a few hours later he found a sleeping Lily next to him. Her head was on her arms, her eyes closed but her face turned as if she was watching him. He reached out his hand and gently brushed away a few strands of hair that had fallen over her cheeks. He pressed himself into a seated position, noticing that whatever the nurse had give him was working. It still hurt like hell, but at least he could move easier now.

"Lily." He whispered, wanting to wake her up, but was afraid she would go up to her dorm now that it was nighttime. "Lily, are you awake?"

"Yes." She said, her voice groggy, but awake enough. "How long have you been watching me?"

"Not very long, I just woke up." He watched as her eyes slowly opened and she smiled.

"What time is it?" she asked and looked down at his wrist. It wasn't common for wizards to wear watches, but Severus did. It was the same one that Lily had bought him for Christmas a few years ago and he treasured it. A few Slytherins had teased him about the muggle contraption, but he hadn't cared enough to take it off.

"A little past eleven."

"Oh wow." She sat up and he feared she was going to leave. "I can't believe I slept for that long." She bent down and pulled something out of her bag.

"What's that?" he tried to peer over the bed, but the movement jolted his ribs and he cringed, cradling his bones.

"Are you alright?" she grasped his hand, checking his face for any signs of serious pain.

"Just moved the wrong way." He chuckled and settled against the pillows. "Guess I'm not as tough as I look."

Lily forced the smile to stay away. Right now, Severus looked the farthest thing from tough, wrapped up in bandages and sheets. She knew that saying so would kill whatever ego he had left, so she kept her mouth shut and brought the apple out that she'd been about to grab. "I thought you might be hungry." She said and set it on the bed between them.

"That's not enough for both of us. And I'm certainly not going to sit here and eat your apple."

"What makes you think I would let you do that?" she grinned and pulled out her wand.

She muttered a quick spell and waved her wand over the apple three times. It shone brightly and then with a faint pop, it turned into a large platter of fruits and cheeses. He loved watching her spells and was always amazed at how talented she was. It just went to prove, it didn't matter whether you were full blood or Muggle born. He wished everyone else could just understand that. She lifted a slice of cheese toward his lips, smiling. He could smell the perfume on her wrist and had to hold back a sigh. It was intoxicating.

"Your magiked food always tastes so good." He said once he'd swallowed the cheese.

She laughed and turned the platter so he could eat more. "No doubt you're hungry after missing lunch and dinner."

"A bit." He nodded and they ate in silence for a few minutes.

He had time to think about the dream he'd had before and wonder about it. Certainly things had changed between them, but did she really know how he felt enough to ward off any advances from James. The Christmas Ball was just around the corner and he knew that James must have asked her already at least a dozen times. Of course, Severus would kill to go with her, but he wasn't sure if she was ready for that. If she would reject him or laugh, but he knew that he was going to have to ask or he would end up regretting it for the rest of his life. She looked up with a smile when he cleared his throat.

"Are you finished eating?" she asked and when he nodded she disapperated the plate and the little food that remained. "There is something on your mind." She offered when he seemed unable to speak. "You can tell me anything Sev."

"Can I ask you anything?" he said, his voice quiet and worried.

"Of course, that's the great thing about being best friends." She paused. "I know we may not be exactly back to best friends, but I'm sure we will be very soon."

His heart fell and the courage he managed to build up crumbled to the ground. That was all she was ever going to want from him, to be best friends. With a sigh he settled back into the pillows and closed his eyes, her scent drifting into his nose and muddling his brain. He didn't want her to be close to him anymore. It was too painful to have her this near and not be able to touch her, not be able to kiss her. He balled his hands into fists under the sheet and prepared what he was going to say carefully.

"Would you mind leaving so I can get some rest?" even as he said the words, it pained him. "I fear that I will not be recovered enough if I keep walking up and finding you here."

He was glad that his eyes were shut so he couldn't see the pained look in her eyes, but he did hear the little choke in her throat and then the scrap of her chair against the floor. "Of course Severus. Good night."

He didn't open his eyes until the Hospital Wing door closed and he heard her footsteps fading away. Then he rolled over and winced at the pain in his ribs and his heart.


	2. Chapter 2

_a/n: alright, so this was meant to be a one shot, but as you can tell- this being chapter two and all- it became a little more than that. Hopefully I will able to keep this shortish and sweet. Hehe _

_Happy Reading!_

Severus paced outside the door where Lily was studying with a few other girls in the Slug Club. He'd been standing there for a good hour, just walking back and forth- have praying that she would never come out, then desperately wishing she would so he could get this over with already. The door creaked open and heard the laughter come out of it, followed by Lily and three girls. Was there any chance that he would be able to get her alone? It would be bad enough to be rejected by her, but in front of one of the biggest gossips in their year...

He cringed at the thought and turned to face the girls. The giggling stopped short when they saw him and he wondered if he looked particularly greasy this evening or something. The other girls weren't looking at him though, they were watching Lily with expectant looks. Did they know something that he didn't? Fire gleamed in Lily's eyes and he could tell that she was upset about him dismissing her the other night in the Hospital Wing.

"Lily, could I speak to you for a moment, in private." The girls hopeful faces fell and Lily took a step away from them.

"Of course Severus." She sounded pissed and he prayed his actions before hadn't blown his chances.

Feeling bold, and a little afraid of the girls watching them, he gently took her elbow and led her away from them. "What is this about?"

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He had to do this, it was his one chance and if he messed it up he wasn't sure he would ever be able to forgive himself. "Lily, I wondered if you would like to go to the Ball with me."

She was silent for a few moments and he dreaded the worst. "Perhaps you could ask me that with your eyes open."

When he looked at her, he found that she was smiling. "Lily, please go to the Ball with me. I know you've had tons of other offers, but I'd be honoured if you would accompany me."

Lily had to repress the giggle; Severus certainly sounded silly being all proper and precocious. "I suppose I could. If anything it may get Potter off my back about going with him."

Severus refused to react to the fire that burned in his veins at the mention of James. "Excellent." He wasn't sure what to do next, he'd worked so hard on preparing to ask her, he wasn't sure if he was supposed to kiss her, shake her hand or walk away. Why did these mating rituals have to be so confusing? "I guess I will see you around then."

She looked at him, her eyebrow lifted, apparently not impressed. He'd chosen the wrong action. "Is that it Severus? You don't have anything else to say?"

He thought about it for a moment, and then realized she was still waiting for an apology. He was surprised that she had even agreed to going with him without it. "I am sorry for what happened the other night, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I will explain it more when I understand it myself." She seemed satisfied with that, and took a step toward him. "I think your friends are getting restless."

"They can wait another minute." She said and pressed up on her toes to press her lips to his cheek.

Five minutes later, long after she and the girls had left the corridor, Severus was still standing there with a dumbfounded look on his face.

Lily stared at her reflection in the mirror and rethought her dress robes for the third time. She wasn't sure why she was so nervous. After all, it was just Severus that she was going with. He'd seen her at her worst and he still managed to look at her. It wasn't as if she was trying to impress anyone, and yet here she was checking the neatness of her eye makeup, as if he would be looking that closely. He didn't care about things like that.

Still she took out her wand and waved it above her head, feeling a thin layer of hairspray fall over her head. One of the girls she shared the room with called to her and she was being dragged down the stairs and out of the Gryffindor Common Room before she even knew what was happening. No less than an hour later, she was standing in front of the doors of the Great Hall, pressed up on her toes to see if she could find Severus in the crowd.

"Wow Lily." A voice behind her startled her and she spun. "You look beautiful."

"Sev," she sighed and reached for his hand. "I'm glad it's you. I was trying to see if you were already here." Then she noticed the slowly forming bruise on his eye and glowered.

"It's alright Lily, don't worry about it." He tried to brush it off, knowing that she could see it already.

"The hell I won't." She pressed back up on her toes and searched the crowd for James or Sirius. "I know they did this to you. How did it happen?"

He tugged at the sleeve of her gown and she looked at him, seeing the desperation in his eyes. "Please don't say anything to them. At least not tonight. I want this to be our night."

She sighed and considered denying him, but she couldn't. McGonagall clapped her hands to get everyone's attention and most of the students turned her way. Slowly the rest fell quiet and listened. "Tonight is about coming together as a school, I will not have any actions resulting in the harm of each other. Well mannered frivolity everyone, know it and live it!" with that she clapped again and smiled. "Enjoy." The doors opened as her word fell and we all moved as one group to see into the room.

The floor of the Great Hall was charmed to look like ice and there was a faint snowfall coming from the roof. Crystals of varying size and length hung in the air and music was already playing. There was no band and it seemed as if the current song was being piped in through the walls. Immediately a few couples took to the dance floor, and even though Lily's hand was already in Severus's, she hesitated. He tugged on her arm and she looked up, surprised to see that he was smiling.

"Why don't we get a drink and check out the fools before we take part in the ritual of making idiots of ourselves." She was surprised at how easy it was for him to joke.

Severus stood next to the drink table searching for Lily over the heads of the other girls. She had disappeared a few minutes ago to use the loo and from the look James was throwing him across the Great Hall, his defences immediately went up. He wished Lily was there, knowing that James wouldn't do anything incredibly stupid if she was within earshot of him. When she didn't show up for another few minutes, James took her absence as an invitation that it was time to use Severus as a punching bag.

He'd no sooner strode over to him, Sirius close at his heels, when a sharp jab to the shoulder got Severus attention. "Watching me fall out of a tree wasn't enough?" Severus spat as James stepped aside, innocent like the force of the contact had been innocent.

"You know she'll never really see you. She will come around and realize that I am the better man for her." James munched down on a chip and washed it down with a glass of Butterbeer.

"Sod off James. This is my night."

"You will never have a night with Lily as long as there is breath in my body." James's eyes grew dark and Severus had to resist taking a step back. For a moment he was actually genuinely frightened.

"Hold up there Prongs." Sirius laid a hand on his friends should. "Old McGonagall has her eyes on us and I have my eye on a sixth year Ravenclaw. If you get us thrown out of this party I will never forgive you." He pulled on his shoulder. "There will be other times and places for this."

"Do we have a problem here gentlemen?" McGonagall stood over them and all the boys wondered how she had moved toward them so quickly and quietly.

"Not at all." James said and crossed his arms, allowing Sirius to pull him away.

"Are you alright Mr. Snape?" Minerva asked, turning to look at the boy.

He only nodded, afraid of what he would say if he chose to open his mouth. "Is everything alright?" Lily appeared, concern in her eyes as she watched Potter and Black's retreating forms. "What did I miss?"

Minerva took that as her cue to leave and with a quick nod to Lily she took her place surveying the crowd back on stage. "It's alright Lily." Severus said and downed the rest of the glass he'd been holding with an iron grip. "Are you ready to dance?"

"Yeah alright." She smiled, knowing that he was brushing something off that shouldn't have been ignored.

As Severus led her onto the floor, her eyes met James's across the room and no matter how handsome he was, no good looks could disguise the pure hatred in his eyes as he glared at Severus. She didn't understand just how men could be such idiots and for good measure she pressed her body a little closer than she normally would have. Her way of proving that Potter's jealousy meant nothing to her. Severus felt her body connect with his and felt a wave of pleasure at having her in his arms.

"I can't tell you how happy I am to have you here tonight. It means the world to me that you are choosing to spend the last Christmas ball of our school years with me."

"There is no one I'd rather be dancing with right now." She looked up at him and smiled. "Severus, would you like to kiss me?"

He was silent for a few moments. "I would like that very much, but here in this crowded Hall with all these jealous prat's watching us."

"I don't care who's watching us." She said and let her fingers tangle in his hair.

Their lips connected, the music rose to its crescendo and Severus could have sworn that they were dancing on air. There wasn't much time to enjoy the kiss, for as soon as he let himself fall into it, a throbbing pain pierced across his cheek and he heard Lily cry out. "Mr. Potter!" McGonagall's voice was shrill and cutting across the floor. "Fifty points from Gryffindor! And that's just for starters. In my office. Now!"

When Minerva spoke like that, there was no disobeying her. With a swift kick to the shins, James left Severus standing there, his hand pressed to his face, Lily's arm around his waist protectively. "You really can be a complete ass James." She called after him, but he didn't stop walking. She turned to Severus and lifted his hand so she could look at his cheek. "Are you alright?"

He shrugged. "James has done far worse with his fist than this. I doubt if it will bruise badly."

Lily disagreed, but didn't say anything. "Come on, let's go to the Hospital Wing."

"No." Severus shook his head, ignoring the throbbing in his head. "I won't let Potter ruin our night."

"It's alright Sev." She smiled and took his hand. "Just come with me."

Lily found herself detouring from the hall that would lead to the Hospital Wing. Severus didn't seem to notice until she was already pulling open the door of an empty, dark classroom. Before he could open his mouth to ask her what she was doing, she'd had the door closed and locked, then his back was pressed firmly against the wood and her lips were crushed to his. For a moment he wondered if the bruises that would show in the morning would be from her or from James.

After a few minutes of breathtaking snogging, he moved his hands to her shoulders and pushed her back. "Lily, don't take this the wrong way, because believe me...I'm not complaining here. But what the hell has gotten into you?"

"I don't know." She ran her hands through her hair and sighed. "I'm sorry for...attacking you."

"It's alright, I quite enjoyed it." He grinned and she couldn't help but to return the gesture. Whenever he smiled like that, his eyes sparkled and he looked absolutely handsome.

"If you'd like we can go back out to the corridor and have you eye looked at." Her hand began to reach for the doorknob, but when his fingers closed over hers, they both froze.

"That won't be necessary. I think all I will need to feel better is some bed rest."

"Well there aren't any beds in here." She said and looked around the classroom. "And this isn't the ideal place for what I was planning...but that won't matter in the morning."

"Just what are you talking about Lily?" he asked, understanding her mumblings, but not quite believing her words.

"Oh," she looked back at him as if she was surprised she'd spoken out loud. "I was just saying that, this wasn't exactly the spot I had in mind for our first time. But it will have to do."

He ran the words through his mind a few more times and had to take a double look to make sure that this girl was the Lily Evans he had known since he was a child. There was definitely nothing childlike about her tonight. The neckline of her robes very low, the color a deep green like her eyes. He couldn't believe that she'd actually just suggested they have sex in the third year potions room as if she was ordering lunch. Some plain, but not in a bored way- more as if she was completely comfortable with herself and what she was thinking.

"Lily, are you sure about this? I mean, it's your first time."

"And I can't think of anyone else besides you that I would want to share it with." She smiled and cradled his face in her hands, careful not to put too much pressure on the already swelling eye. "You were my first love Severus. My first true friend and we both know that this war isn't going to end anytime soon." Her eyes darted out the window to the night sky that looked considerably darker than this time last year. The dark forces were certainly working. "If we both die tomorrow or in twenty years, I want the memory of tonight to be beautiful. And I want it to include you."

He couldn't think of a better way to put it. Her words were spoken as if she'd reached into his heart and pulled them out. "I could never deny you something you wanted Lily, especially when I want the same thing."

He dipped his head to kiss her, his fingers slowly working the clasps at the back of her dress, giving her ample time to stop him if she changed her mind. Her response to his kiss calmed him, and he knew that she wouldn't stop him. Her fingertips worked at his robes as well, a little more feverently than his, and he smiled, both surprise and excited by this new Lily. She tasted like Butterbeer and mint candies. Then they were walking back to the desks and he wasn't sure which of them had taken the first step away from the door.

When her lower back hit the wood edge of a desk she stopped and slipped his robes from over his shoulders, letting them fall on the ground in a heap of black velvet. He fought with the last clasp and she allowed his tongue access past her teeth and with a satisfied growl he let her dark green silk fall away from her body. She was left in a thin white slip that was cut even lower than her gown and came to her thigh. He resisted licking his lips.

Lily saw the pure lust in his eyes, and she couldn't blame him. The removal of his robes had shed him of half his covering and for the first time since they were young, she saw how his chest had formed from a boy's body into a man's. Of course she had noticed his growth in height, and even now as she stood in her heels, he towered over by a good foot. His torso was long and lean and she couldn't take her eyes away. Her obvious appreciation gave him pleasure and he brought her back into his arms, a little rougher than he intended, crushing her lips to his in a searing kiss that left both their heads spinning.

He felt his hands moving down her back, over her ass until they found the hem of her under-dress. The silk felt magical over his rough hands and he held her for a moment, feeling the difference between the fabric and her skin. She moved her lips from his down his chin and over to his neck, biting and licking and kissing like a madwoman. The Lily he had watched grow up, the girl he feel in love with was slowly becoming a woman in his arms.

It felt amazing to be a part of that, to watch her grow and change again, right before his eyes as the promise of pleasure overtook her and she found herself incapable of waiting much longer. He wanted to move slowly, to savour the emotions and sensations he was feeling, but her determination was too much for him, and he felt himself falling into the same trap of a love struck teenager. There was no logic or thought in what they were doing now.

It was all about pleasure and feeling and doing what came instinctively. Anything he had learned about sex in books flew out of his head and he allowed himself to be taken by her, to take her and let himself fall into her love; her passion. Her nails dug into his back, and then he felt them slid down and around, searching for the button of his pants. That should have thrown off his internal alarm, but they were both to spent to care now.

"Please Severus." She whispered in his ear. "Make love to me."

He didn't need to hear anymore, although he would have like to hear his name on her lips quite a few more times. He thought about how he could do that, then he felt his pants fall to his ankles and what little thought he'd been able to conjure failed. His hands moved down to grip her hips and he lifted her onto the desk. In the next moment he'd lifted the silk over her head and tossed it somewhere behind them. A moment later she was completely bare, and soon after he followed suit.

Her lips trailed kisses over his neck and down his chest, her nails gently scraping his sides, tickling with a slight stinging pain. Then her hands slipped to his hips and he felt her press him against the heat of her core, clearly inviting him to do what he'd always dreamed of doing. He opened his eyes, locking them with hers wondering if she really was ready for this. He could tell from the way she raised her eyebrow that asking that question would do little more than get him a slap.

He knew her better than that, and such a question would lead her to believe that he was having doubts about what they were doing himself. "I love you Lily." He whispered, slowly slipping into her.

She gasped at the new sensation, winced at the pain and held her breath as she adjusted to the feel of him inside her. After a minute her hisses turned to sighs, and when he began moving inside her, the sighs became moans. He relished in the feel of her tightness around him and fought to keep his fingers from digging into her hips too roughly. There was no need for them both to have bruises. Perhaps he would have to thank James for the black eye, after all...it had inadvertently lead to this...

When her moans became more breathless and her hands reached for his neck, he bent down to swallow her cries as her climax reached its peaked. His wasn't far behind, and they shuddered together, relishing in the closeness and intimacy their relationship had taken. She pulled back from the kiss, gasping for breath, and gently brushed her thumb over his lips. "I love you to Severus. Remember that, no matter what happens."

_Over a Year Later_

Severus could feel the presence of the Dark Lord all around him as he climbed the stairs to the nursery where the cries of an infant were coming from. Lightning flashed and for a heart stopping moment he swore he saw red hair curled on the floor. His heart clenched and he denied the sight, even knowing the truth in his heart. Even having stepped over James's dead body moments before, he refused to believe that his beloved Lily could be dead. Another flash, this time he was closer and he could make out the lines of her body, see the paleness of her skin.

When he reached the landing of the staircase, he held his breath and pushed the door open the rest of the way with his foot. Then his blood froze and his heart shattered, for there lying on the floor, next to the wooden crib of a baby with a fresh scar on his forehead was the woman he had loved for so long. At first he couldn't move, he couldn't breathe. Then all at once he collapsed on the floor next to her body, his wand forgotten a few feet away. Let any remaining Death Eaters kill him now, what did it matter?

He gathered her body in his arms, devasted at how cold and pale her skin really was. How could she be gone? She'd fought so hard through the war, protected so many and been so brave. Was it all to be for nothing? Was all of the time he'd spent loving her and wishing that she would come back to him been a waste. He wouldn't believe it, couldn't believe it. But even as the child cried next to him and Lily's body became colder with the weight of death, Severus felt his heart slowly begin to repair itself in the slightest of ways.

Tears fell from his face as they never had before in his life as he replayed her words over and over in his mind. _"I love you to Severus. Remember that. No matter what happens."_ He would remember, he would never forget for as long as he lived, and perhaps one day he would be able to see Lily again, be able to tell her how much he loved her and hear those words from her lips one last time. For now, all he had was memories and the few minutes before the remaining members of the Order came to Godric's Hollow.


End file.
